He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
