I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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