My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize