I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
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Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
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"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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