I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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