I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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