I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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