Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize