AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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