Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
