i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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