My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize