i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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