Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

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  (484): I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem http://tfl.nu/p4jh
  Replies (19) Good night (4950) Bad night (870)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

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  (203): she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex. (860): what did you do? (203): i asked her out. that's so hot. http://tfl.nu/dg3d
  Replies (56) Good night (9770) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.

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  (570): Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/1c0i
  Replies (31) Good night (5701) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (2004) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

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  (907): Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen. http://tfl.nu/l4cq
  Replies (11) Good night (3524) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.

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  (814): i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him. http://tfl.nu/dwt7
  Replies (2) Good night (1942) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

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  (570): I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know http://tfl.nu/nr32
  Replies (3) Good night (2122) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

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  (573): Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something http://tfl.nu/61ie
  Replies (7) Good night (781) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point

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  (561): I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point http://tfl.nu/m5fj
  Replies (3) Good night (1286) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.

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  (218): I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara. http://tfl.nu/7g4h
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (947): View more from Michigan

  Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?

  (1-947): View more from Michigan

  I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.

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  (947): Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters? (1-947): I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out. http://tfl.nu/mrny
  Replies (3) Good night (949) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.

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  (+61): Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse. http://tfl.nu/jtdy
  Replies (1) Good night (608) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  this hospital has no fireball

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  (256): this hospital has no fireball http://tfl.nu/h1f7
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  me + whiskey = a bad person

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  (512): me + whiskey = a bad person http://tfl.nu/4d99
  Replies (0) Good night (580) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am

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  (847): Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am http://tfl.nu/mhm6
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (300)

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