Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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  (424): I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed http://tfl.nu/t74f
  Replies (9) Good night (5059) Bad night (1204)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness

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  (513): did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness http://tfl.nu/hxgt
  Replies (70) Good night (1010) Bad night (5627)
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  (221): View more from

  I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.

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  (221): I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/7n2x
  Replies (20) Good night (1245) Bad night (7491)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.

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  (401): she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits. http://tfl.nu/xfwk
  Replies (33) Good night (1215) Bad night (6075)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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  (607): I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever. http://tfl.nu/15o8
  Replies (18) Good night (7542) Bad night (1398)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.

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  (203): I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season. http://tfl.nu/xinh
  Replies (24) Good night (5253) Bad night (1228)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

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  (303): He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk! http://tfl.nu/z1cd
  Replies (27) Good night (9369) Bad night (4232)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.

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  (630): Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt. http://tfl.nu/hsva
  Replies (9) Good night (1521) Bad night (969)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?

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  (516): So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway? http://tfl.nu/m1uu
  Replies (11) Good night (2904) Bad night (1180)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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  (601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2211) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.

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  (970): You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again. http://tfl.nu/ptr6
  Replies (26) Good night (2188) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?

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  (636): Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear? http://tfl.nu/p7e6
  Replies (1) Good night (1232) Bad night (431)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.

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  (307): I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/gswm
  Replies (5) Good night (419) Bad night (653)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc

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  (914): Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc http://tfl.nu/veqw
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (332)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.

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  (501): His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/o5lz
  Replies (15) Good night (1392) Bad night (333)

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