Texts From Last Night

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  (409): View more from Texas

  so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

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  (409): so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes http://tfl.nu/m5en
  Replies (5) Good night (775) Bad night (891)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.

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  (314): So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes. http://tfl.nu/wpyi
  Replies (5) Good night (708) Bad night (2201)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.

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  (630): Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that" (1-630): Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere. http://tfl.nu/8i7j
  Replies (11) Good night (974) Bad night (2678)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted

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  (609): I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted http://tfl.nu/rfs0
  Replies (98) Good night (2089) Bad night (8868)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.

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  (720): She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life. http://tfl.nu/paqh
  Replies (71) Good night (26164) Bad night (1378)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.

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  (309): I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust. http://tfl.nu/mc9g
  Replies (6) Good night (5999) Bad night (974)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.

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  (317): Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street. http://tfl.nu/q42w
  Replies (14) Good night (2549) Bad night (1170)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day

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  (303): I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day http://tfl.nu/oxlv
  Replies (2) Good night (2358) Bad night (841)
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  (559): View more from California

  Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.

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  (559): Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out. http://tfl.nu/isge
  Replies (7) Good night (2768) Bad night (817)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????

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  (704): How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How???? http://tfl.nu/5jk2
  Replies (20) Good night (2337) Bad night (844)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.

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  (413): I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude? (908): It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer. http://tfl.nu/qzgh
  Replies (3) Good night (2172) Bad night (642)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.

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  (360): He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning. http://tfl.nu/j239
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (1021)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

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  (720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1
  Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (422)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.

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  (701): If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times. http://tfl.nu/s20h
  Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (262)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.

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  (540): He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog. http://tfl.nu/zanv
  Replies (0) Good night (282) Bad night (420)

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