I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
