Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
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Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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