Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
