He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
