Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The Olympian is in my bed
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
