these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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