Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
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She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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