ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
