The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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