I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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