thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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