3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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