It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
