Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
