why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
