did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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