So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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