8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You need a sexual gate keeper
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
