Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am one with the molecules
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
