If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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