physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
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how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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