Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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