this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.