New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.