Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need to align my fucking chakras
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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