I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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