I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
