is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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