do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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