Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
