wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
third nipple confirmed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
