love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
