Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize