69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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