He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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