That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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