Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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