you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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