Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
