this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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