franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
